


Bruises

by JulieTheEarlGreyCookies



Category: Glee
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, High School, Light Masochism, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Teenage Rebellion, Violence, William McKinley High School
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26547574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulieTheEarlGreyCookies/pseuds/JulieTheEarlGreyCookies
Summary: If Kurt was a masochist.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/David Karofsky
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. Pilot: Dumpsters and Lockers

Kurt winced in pain as Karofsky had just shoved him into one of the lockers as he passed by. Nine. This would be the ninth time he was assaulted in the count of only 2 days. 

He pushed his surely bruised shoulder away from the metal and leaned his back to it instead, only to remember he’d also gotten a few bruises there. He flinched at the pain and straightened his body up, and turned to continue his trip to the choir room. 

Yesterday was worse, he thought, humouring himself. He was brusquely lifted to the big jock’s shoulder after a particularly short argument about how his yellow boots had blinded the jock’s sight, and got thrown into the dumpster. And that was new. Karofsky had never usually put so much effort into torturing him, not that his said many effortless attempts weren't lacerating already. Karofsky had said, the yellow boots needed to be gone and since Kurt was attached to the boots, he was getting disposed with it. And he'd had to stain his new knee-length yellow cardigan with whatever it was that had been on the dumpster, which he didn’t hope to ever find out. That had left him with finger-shaped mark to both his hips as the jock had gripped him forcefully there. 

**

These days, it seemed like Karofsky and Azimio had added dumpsters to his repertoire of torture instruments. It had gotten more frequent for Kurt to be hauled and launched to the filthy box by the two big jocks. He’d been making it a habit to always bring an extra pair of clothes to avoid his dad’s inquiries. He had to lie about his yellow attires and making up a story of how he just got in the middle of occasional food war at lunchtime in the cafeteria, and he didn’t enjoy lying to Burt. 

And strangely enough, some other times he would find himself hauled by Karofsky just to be thrown against the lockers in the locker room. He would say something to corner his tormentor, like being a teenage masochist, imbecile ignoramus, ham hock and everything he could think of only to be shoved once again but harder to the lockers. He had enough bruises for them to be painful when his skin rubbed against a fabric or when he was simply trying to live. 

So, he decided, talking meant more bruises, and lately, he had been keeping his mouth tight. Just bearing his daily beating and get over it as quick as possible. This, however, enraged Karofsky even more as he would throw him some more nasty comments about his freaky fashion sense or his filly hairstyle or just that simple three-letter word muttered with such obscenity in the bully’s voice. Kurt realized Karofsky’s endeavours to point every single thing he could declare incongruous had been extending from his outer clad to things about his physical feature. Like how the bully thinks his mouth is made for sucking cock and how his ass is a spanking toy for kinky homosexuals. Kurt had raised his eyebrows when Karofsky first did, as well as Azimio. Then, Kurt noticed how Karofsky only does it when Azimio isn’t around, or anyone at all. Kurt was devastated.

**

The torment escalated in a matter short few days. Kurt now had been quite familiarised with Karofsky manhandling him on the jock’s shoulder to throw him in the locker room. He would shriek and wail to no avail, the students and passerby would just look at them uncomfortably and turn the other cheek. 

It was late in the afternoon after the glee club rehearsal, he found himself being tied up to one of the showerheads in the McKinley’s gym shower stall after he had been mercilessly carried by his number one tormentor. He tried to reason, begged Karofsky not to turn the shower on and let him go because what he was doing was completely sick, he realized soon his reasoning wasn’t convincing at all as Karofsky had not faltered his burning gaze on Kurt. He was just there, looking intently at Kurt with both his hands tied up above his head. Kurt squirmed under the jock's scrutiny, he couldn’t fully comprehend Karofsky eyes that scanning him up and down his body. He felt totally exposed. He was still trying his best to talk Karofsky out to untied him and let him go in dry shape when he heard it. 

“So pretty when you beg.” 

He had muttered the words under his breath but the shower room was empty for Kurt to heard the jock loud enough. 

Kurt choked on his words. His tied hands that had been trying to loosen the tie stopped squirming. He stared wide–eye and froze. Suddenly a new kind of terror rushed through his brain and something entirely else he couldn’t quite place thrummed through his entire body. 

Karofsky seemed to be equally as appalled at his own words. His eyes returned to their usual recognizable animosity and he left. Kurt let out the air he had been holding in his lungs after the jock had exited the room. He pulled his lifted arms in one sharp motion, he was sure he was going to have another bruise along his wrists by the end of the day. 

Five minutes passed with no success to untie himself, Kurt sighed and hung his arms. Letting them pulled the knot tighter. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He really didn’t want to have to shout for help, the school had been emptied for hours. He didn’t think anyone’s around and if there was somebody, he doubted they would help, this is McKinley after all. He let a single tear fell down his cheek and muffled a sob, his arms tired and his wrists hurt. He wished he could just unattached his arms and go home. 

He’d been hurting. The emotional turmoil was just as bad as his physical injury. He’s been constantly flinching every time a locker shut and jolting every time he saw a red letterman. He felt like he was in a horror movie and he was the meat prize for each and every monster. It was not any better at home, he would cry through the night and wake up when the sun was up without realizing he had fallen asleep, because he didn’t feel like he had been sleeping at all. He didn’t want to talk to his dad about how bad the harassment had been going, and his friends didn't seem to notice. He'd got no one to talk to. He was alone and lonely. 

The door swung open and it revealed Karofsky bolted through the door. Kurt immediately tensed when the jock rushing towards him with a heated look on his face, Kurt was practically steamed under his eyes. He looked down at the jock’s hand to see blue tiny scissors clenching back and forth in his grip. _Oh no_.


	2. I'm Sorry

He shook his head, let out a whimper until he can’t help but sob.

“No. Please. Please, Karofsky… No.” He shook his head vigorously, letting more tears to paint his reddening face. He kept asking for mercy to his tormentor and started to wail.  
He clenched his eyes tightly when Karofsky approached and stood in front of him, whimpering whilst he bit inside his mouth to prepare for whatever about to come.

He felt his arms fell down his sides, he was too shaky to carry the weight of his own arms and his legs were wobbly. He soon found himself sinking to the ground, letting the gravity pulled him to the damp floor. He was too distressed to care.

What just happened? Kurt opened his eyes to find a set of feet in front of him. He let out a shaky breath and a few more sobs before looking up to see what had just happened. Karofsky wasn’t about to cut him, he realised. He tried processing the whole situation but found it very difficult in his state of disturbance.

“I’m sorry.”

He settled his eyes on Karofsky’s face to find him looking down at him. He sucked a breath, not fully able to comprehend his words despite the jock’s clarity. He felt his lips quivering before he let himself on full breakdown mode. He had been so frightened and now he felt completely wretched. He palmed his face with both of his hands and allow himself to cry his eyes out. He wept until his chest hurt and he felt like his throat closing. He noted that the pair of feet in front of him hadn’t yet to leave him, but he didn’t look up, afraid if he did just that, the spell would break and the idleness would soon turn to another agony.

**

When he had gathered enough senses and enough strength for his legs to finally stand up, it was already late and dark. He didn’t see anyone in the room and supposed Karofsky must have had left him during his malfunction.

He walked towards his bedroom immediately, telling his dad he would skip dinner because of an insane amount of schoolwork. His dad just looked at him suspiciously and Kurt sprinted to his bedroom in a record of time, he didn’t want his dad to have enough time to gauge his face and could tell he had just cried out his organs. He walked under the shower and let the hot spray loosen his body, which hadn’t exactly capable to do so as his body was stiff and rigid.

He got under his duvet and sighed to the dark space. Today was exhausting, for the lack of better word. He tried to put every horrifying thing that had happened to him that day together, and the conclusion he drew made his brows furrowed.

_Karofsky is gay?_

That completely didn’t make sense at all, but at the same time perfectly make sense. He decided he couldn’t hate Karofsky more than he had at that moment of realisation.

**

The few next days after Karofsky had somewhat outed himself to Kurt, went with a slight peace of mind for Kurt. He still had his daily shoving, mostly by Azimio and other several jocks he never got to remember the name of. He barely saw Karofsky or when he did, he would see the jock looking at him briefly before quickly averting his gaze and disappearing in the hallway. Karofsky had muttered an apology that day, so was it the end?

**

A whole week had passed without Karofsky laying a single touch on Kurt. And it seemed that the boss had laid off him, the sidekicks had as well. Kurt didn’t mention his suspicion about the jock’s sexual orientation to anyone, he wouldn’t. He didn’t believe in outing the others and it simply not who he was. He was sort of expecting some kind of threats to keep his mouth shut but no attempt on any sort of contact had been initiated.

The bruises on his body started to heal and he found himself sleeping without as much pain when he had to adjust his sleep position, he had forgotten how nice it was. So, he gathered that Karofsky was gay, or bi, whatever it was, he was definitely not straight. And, it seemed that Karofsky had been subjecting him sexually. In quite a horrifying way Kurt had never even imagined someone would think of him.

Unexpectedly, Kurt’s hostility towards Karofsky had gradually mollified and somehow morphed into something entirely else. He wouldn’t say longing, but he couldn’t find another word to express what he was feeling. He wanted to talk to Karofsky, because he didn’t feel alone anymore. He felt like he had found a friend, that would understand him in a way no one had. He figured, though, talking to him would be difficult and take a lot of efforts. Not only he was afraid of Karofsky but the jock was most definitely still deep in the closet. Furthermore, Karofsky didn’t seem like he could use a friend, or wanted one that was McKinley’s biggest gay joke. He didn’t think he was in denial of his sexual orientation but Kurt was certain he would deny Kurt’s attempt to talk about it.

So, Kurt let the situation as it was. He didn’t try to approach the jock, what for anyway? He had been trying to avoid the jock his entire high school life and now he’d gotten what he wanted, he was going to enjoy every second of it. He also had gotten an apology, so, Kurt convinced himself that his tormentors had put his living hell to an end. It felt like dream to know what it was like to live without daily beating again. He had been going back to the garage and help lessen his dad’s work now that he was able to use both his arms without doing more damage to his shoulders and arms. Everything seemed to had fallen into place, despite small abuses from non as threatening jocks and slushies, everything Kurt could ask for for what he considered a day to be good.  


Everything was good and perfect. _Right?_


	3. Ache

_So much for perfect._ Kurt slumped down letting his back slides against the locker after Karofsky had thrown him into his locker. Looked like the torment now was back on track. He glared at Karofsky that was looking down at him while he walked backwards slowly, his face was wrathful, then lost from his sight as the jock made a turn at the end of the hall.

Apparently, he had been wrong. It wasn’t the end. The apology had meant nothing. And Karofsky still made it his mission to make his life a living hell. He pulled a face to the ache starting to form on his back and composed himself back to be on his feet.

“Kurt!” He turned his head to see Tina walking towards him, he can see her concern but he had stopped putting faith in his friends to actually put a little mind to his harassment. Kurt turned his whole body to face her completely and adjust the strap of his bag on his shoulder.  
“Hey, are you okay?” She reached for Kurt’s forearm and settle her hand on top of it. 

Kurt nodded, “Nothing new I can’t handle of.” He replied bitterly. 

He sighed quietly, he truly thought his misery had been put to an end, but really it was just a short and sweet pause. He mentally chastised himself for being so naive. On the contrary, deep down within him, he trully didn’t understand how he felt… Right. Like this was how it should be. This was normal. The throb on his shoulders was normal, the stinging discomfort on his back was exactly how he supposed to feel. He was brought back to reality when Tina squeezed where he had laid her hand on Kurt. She offered him a comforting smile and Kurt smiled right back. Kurt entangled his arms with hers and tugged her to the cafeteria. He believed he had gone slightly insane for the thought he just had. 

Tina ran towards the table that had been occupied by Mike, Mercedes and Artie. She sat beside Mike and pat the seat next to her left side, beckoning Kurt to join her there. They had been chatting about the garments they were going to assemble and put on for the glee club theatricality week. Kurt would have easily joined any conversation about costume if he hadn’t felt somebody’s eyes drilling into his head. He cocked his head slightly to his left side to see those alarming red jacket-clad bulky boy’s eyes looking right at him. He quickly averted his eyes back to his friends and emerged himself to the discussion. 

Kurt sneaked a few glances across the room to weigh up his manner. The boy looked like his usual self, monstrous and threatening, with his red letterman and his fellow neanderthals surrounding him. He saw Finn, Puck and a couple of cheerios in their table, talking loudly and laugh cacophonously, like they owned the damn place. 

_So pretty when you beg._ Those words had been haunting him at day and night, he should felt sick about it, but now that he had some more time to think about it, for some unknown reason, he wouldn’t say that he was sickened by them. He felt… Thrilled. 

_Oh…_ That was new. But for goodness sake, he can’t be that pathetic to be thrilled by his number one tormentor, was he that pathetic? Was he that lonely? Was he?

Just a thought about another possible gay boy that might be interested in him got him all excited and fuelled his ego. Yeah, that must be it. 

He was, in fact, lonely.

He might as well had only drawn a conclusion that the jock had thought of him that way, and that in one way or another excite him even more so he refused to believe his own culmination because honestly he couldn’t be so sure. He couldn’t even be exactly sure that Karofsky wasn’t straight. And he definitely didn’t want to explore whatever it was he was going through in his lately deranged mind. And these thoughts certainly didn’t make him feel any better nor make his emotional and physical suffering any less. He awfully didn’t understand himself or anything anymore. 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, refusing to sneak another glance at the table across although he could still felt those eyes on him.  


_Self-respect, Kurt._

“Boo, you alright?” Mercedes voice wrecked his train of thought and he opened his eyes, he nodded and gave her a little pouted smile.  
“So, you’ll hit the mall with us tomorrow?” She asked him, popping a tots into her mouth. 

Kurt silence was clear for Tina that he hadn’t been paying attention so she supplied,  
“To pick up some fabric for the costumes. And find me some new Figgins approved look.” She sighed at that and her shoulders slumped. 

Kurt provided her with a little smile, she was banned from wearing her usual goth chic look just because Figgins apparently believed she possessed the ability to transform into a bat. 

“Sure, what time tomorrow?” 

** 

What actually made them hated him so much? Kurt, once again, for whatever number of harassment that day he’d been going through, cringed to the shooting pain from the contact between his shoulder and the dense metal of his own lockers. Kurt was surprised that his locker hadn’t been bent or fractured by how many times it was getting beaten for. 

“Freak.” Sneered a guy in a letterman Kurt didn’t even know. The blonde guy turned to his fellow footballer and they starting to high–five each other. One of them pushed Kurt one more time and sent him once again to the surface of his locker. Kurt knitted his eyebrows and scowled at them. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to stand up and just let those guys beat him to near passing, he had attempted to defend himself only to be harassed even to a greater extent as he was much smaller in size and in number compared to his bullies. He could felt the tears starting to form in his eyes, he didn’t get why but he just felt like being emotional right then and there. He straightened up and raced to his car, rushed to get out of the living hell he called school and be home as soon as possible. 

** 

Kurt stood and watched his reflection on a body–length mirror in his room. He just got out of the shower and he was naked. He couldn’t discern his own skin anymore, it was majorly covered with blue-green–black marks. His arms, shoulders and back being the worst. There were several deep discolourations across his stomach and waist, on his legs and knees, as well as his wrists. Kurt felt sick with the sight before his eyes, he looked terrible and severely beaten, and he was in so much pain. He couldn’t stand the sight any further and grabbed an old oversized biscuit sweater and grey sweatpants then got under his duvet. He cried a little until he was deep into a dreamless sleep. 

** 

He ended up staying on his bed until around noon the next day. His dad woke him up when Kurt didn’t wake on his own and didn’t come out from his bedroom to make breakfast as he usually would. He told his dad that he didn’t feel well, which, was completely an understatement. 

“You okay, kiddo?” His dad asked as he sat next to him on Kurt’s bed and took a good look at his son. He was laying on his stomach limply with his head facing to one side where Burt was seated. Kurt’s mind slurred a little, he felt everyone had asked him that questions quite a lot lately. _Was he?_ Kurt closed his eyes and hummed. 

“Yeah, just not feeling too well.” He answered hoarsely and opened his eyes again to see his dad frowning at him.  
“Can I skip school today?” Kurt pleaded with his eyes, knew that his dad wouldn’t likely to say no to that. 

Burt looked at Kurt a little longer, trying to put his measurements together to find some kind of explanation as to why Kurt looked so white.  
“You look really horrible, kid.” Burt sounded his thought, ignoring Kurt’s request. 

Kurt chuckled lightly at that, “Thanks, Dad.” He joked. 

Burt put his hand on top of the small of Kurt’s back, around his shoulder, right where he was usually thrown against numerous lockers. Kurt tried so hard not to flinch or groan. “Want me to take ya to a doctor? Or call one?” 

“No, Dad. I’m not ill, just tired.” Kurt's voice was muffled by his head pillow, he had buried his face in them to anticipate his reaction to the pressure on his back. 

“Did somethin’ happened, Kurt?” Burt urged. 

Kurt let the silence seeped between them before he turned his head to look at his dad,  
“Regionals, we’ve been rehearsing our souls off for regionals. That’s what happened.” Kurt faked a sigh. 

Burt squeezed Kurt’s back and Kurt smiled tightly forcing himself not to wince.  
“Well, a day off might do you good. It has been really takin’ its toll on ya. You should lay back for a while.” 

“Thanks, Dad.” Kurt smiled at him, Kurt could see his dad’s eyes still continue to study him. They were full of distrust and that broke Kurt’s heart to know he himself had put them there. 

“You sure you don’t wanna see a doctor?” Burt asked again. 

“I’m sure, Dad. I’ll be fine after I sleep on it just a little while.” 

Burt patted his shoulder and Kurt almost pat himself, too, for not making a face nor a sound.  
“Sleep all you want, buddy. Want me to take your breakfast here?” Kurt shook his head, 

“No. Just thinking about food making me nauseous, I’ll eat I promise…” He said quickly when he saw his dad surely going to talk to him about being manorexic. “Just not now. Sorry I didn’t make breakfast today.” 

“Nonsense, kid. I can scramble an egg myself just fine.” Kurt scoffed at that, both of them knew that wasn’t completely true.  
Burt grinned at Kurt’s snickers. “Alright. I’ll whip you those mushroom soup you always eager to make me eat.” His dad stood up, using Kurt’s back to push himself up from the bed. Kurt finally let out a whimper he quickly muffled with his pillow.

Burt looked back at his son, he was sure he heard something that sounded much like someone was in pain. He was sure he didn’t put too much of his weight on his son’s back, or did he?  
“Sorry, did I hurt you? Did ya hurt your back or somethin’?” Burt could see his son’s limp body stiffen at that, he gathered quickly that Kurt might have hurt his back, but the response he heard said otherwise, 

“No. No, ’s nothing.” His dad frowned at Kurt’s faint and choked words. 

“You know you can talk to me about anythin’, yeah buddy?” Burt asked, or more like, told Kurt. 

“I know, Dad.” _But I rather not._ “Thanks.” He said briskly before his voice became shakier. 

“Anytime, Kurt.” Burt reached the doorknob and turned his head one more time to take another one good look on his son. Skepticism swam in his eyes. 

When Kurt heard the door slammed quietly, he exhaled loudly, emptying the air in his lungs.

** 

“I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian.” Tina said gesturing to unlike–her plain outfit. 

Mercedes snorted and kept posing any dresses she could reach in front of Tina.  
“Any particular looks you want to give a try?” She asked despite the dresses she kept throwing her way. 

Tina shook her head no, “I know who I am, and I’m not allowed to be who I am. It’s like communism.” She said flatly. 

“Or like being gay.” Kurt added with a playful smile. 

“Or black. You can’t help yourself from being black and most people aren’t necessarily kind to you when you are.” Mercedes joined with an attitude. 

“Well, I for one thinks being different is awesome.” Tina said grinning widely. 

_Sure, regardless of the consequences._ Kurt thought but didn’t say. He smiled at both of them. 

“I’m a proud black woman and I’m proud to have best friends as awesome as you guys are.” Mercedes declared profoundly. 

Tina made out an ‘aw’ sound and wrapped both Mercedes and Kurt in a firm hug. 

“Okay, this is not weird.” Kurt remarked jokingly. 

“Of course not, just some high schoolers hugging each other.” Tina tightened her embrace. Kurt bit the inside of his mouth to shut himself from complaining about the discomfort where Tina pressed herself against him. 

Kurt didn’t see the problem, so he hugged them back as tightly. 

** 

Kurt had worked on their costumes for glee theatricality week with Tina at Kurt’s place until late yesterday, although tired, he felt satisfied and relaxed. He loved fashion and fabricating an outfit had always been his pleasure. His dad told him this is not what he had meant by laying back for a while after he had seen the mess in their living room. He told his dad he was feeling better after Tina had left and he was sure he really did look better as he saw his dad’s relieved face. 

Kurt knew what he was getting into what with wearing his own creation and walking down the hallways of McKinley. He knew, he was sure Tina had known as well. But they couldn’t care less, they had been waiting for this week and expected it to be awesome. He held his head high and strutting down the hall with confidence as he knew they had it short-lived and he might as well enjoy it to the fullest. 

“I love wearing champagne bubbles! I get to express a whole different side of myself! Because even though I’m painfully shy and obsessed with death, I’m a really effervescent person.” Tina said delightfully. 

So, when the inevitable attack was coming, Kurt was ready and he snapped.  
“Excuse me! Were you dropped on your heads?!” He, along with Tina had been shoved into a locker they were just passing by cordially. 

“What was that?” Karofsky turned first before Azimio followed and they proceed towards to corner Kurt and Tina. 

“I think you heard me.” The certainty he had had didn’t last any longer as he found himself sounding and feeling small. He took a small step back when the jocks had stood tall in front of him.  
“I’m just sayin’. Pick on me, that’s fine, but don’t throw around a girl.” He tried to gain whatever confidence left in him and stood as tall. 

“Well, ya know. We haven’t been able to tell the difference, lately.” Azimio jeered. 

“You asked for it, Hummel. We’ll be picking your ass ‘till you stop being all freak with the freaky dresses and rub that in everybody’s faces. It makes my eyes tired. Are you asking to be hoist to your throne in the dumpster?” Karofsky made a step forward but quickly stopped by Tina who was now explaining them to no purpose about how what they were doing was just as how they expressed themselves in their football uniforms.  
Karofsky’s eyes burned on him. Kurt realised this was rage he was seeing. The desire on the jock’s face went unnoticed by Kurt. 

“You know what? The next time you want to express yourself like a circus freak, don’t be shocked when my fist feels like expressing itself against your chin.” Azimio punched the locker next to Kurt to emphasise his threat.  
“Knock that crazy fool crepe-paper nonsense off ya.” He continued.

“Surely beats their stupid uniform. Just walk around naked, you’ll be more theatrical than anything ever to walk in this town.” Karofsky made the mockery in his voice very clear.

Tina made a disgusted scrunching face at that. 

“You can only wish.” Kurt retorted, looking straight at Karofsky. He totally meant it as an insinuation and wanted to see the jock’s reaction. 

“Watch your mouth, homo!” Karofsky lost his cool and shoved Kurt particularly hard against the lockers. The metal hit Kurt’s back and he slumped down to the floor. He was about to come at Kurt, to hauled him to the dumpster, Kurt figured from experience, before Tina stepped in. 

“Kurt!” She squatted as much as the fizzy dress let her next to Kurt. 

Kurt looked up, _speak for yourself._ He wanted to say, but his conscience got the better of him. He knew everyone has the right to come out in their own time. He intended to stay true to that belief. Instead, he just glared challengingly at him. 

Karofsky glared back as heatedly but looking away shortly after, “Let’s go. Don’t want to catch the bad case of freak.” He said and pulled his fellow jock with him.  
_He didn’t say ‘bad case of gay’,_ Kurt noted. He caught him turned his head around to spare him one last menacing stare before they made a turn at the end of the hallway. 

Kurt couldn’t understand all of this. He thought Karofsky had said sorry, had backed off, but evidently he didn’t actually mean it and continued being a hypocrite. He thought he heard the jock had said the apology quite sincerely or maybe his mind was only playing tricks on him when he was floundering. Did Karofsky hate him because he was out? Because Kurt accepted himself and put himself the way he was out there for everyone in the world to see? Was that what all the torment was about? He was sure that was probably the reason why for his other bullies, but he felt Karofsky had a completely another explanation. He really hated being tormented over and over like this, but… Did he actually want it to stop?


	4. Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be quite a violence in this chapter.

Kurt was cornered by Karofsky that day, he had just gotten out from glee rehearsal and was walking to his car when the jock approached him. Kurt froze, if he had been walking faster he would have avoided him, but he secretly was glad he didn’t. Karofsky moved so fast he yelped in surprise when the jock threw and pushed him into his car. Maybe he wasn’t so glad after all. 

One of Karofsky’s hand was grabbing roughly on Kurt’s left shoulder and another one was on Kurt’s neck, he was choking him. Kurt had a hard time to follow up with his breathing as his inhalation was cut abruptly. He brought both of his hands to clutch at the wrist that connected to his neck. 

His eyes went wide and started to brim. His tormentor’s face was in a startling close proximity to him, crowding his sight. His green eyes fixed on his blue own with such a blazing hunger Kurt shivered and felt his skin tingle. He shifted his eyes down, overwhelmed by the jock’s flickering eyes that burned into him and he landed his eyes on the jock’s lips, his tongue jutted out to lick at his bottom lip. Kurt brought his eyes back to his tormentor’s smouldering eyes, he could felt the thing he had been trying to ignore bubbled up to the surface, until he couldn’t ignore it anymore. _What is wrong with him?_

“What is wrong with you?” Kurt managed to choke out.

“No, what’s wrong with _you_?” He replied harshly, strengthen his grip on Kurt’s neck. Karofsky brought Kurt’s face up so he can watch every face Kurt’s making.  
“You talkin’ back to me, now?” He advanced his face to Kurt until their faces are very, very close. He was sure no one was watching, it was almost dark and if someone did, he was sure they would just walk past them like a cool bean. 

Kurt tried to speak but he was suffocating, he ended up just gasping for air with his mouth opened and his teary eyes looking back at Karofsky’s. Both of his hands on the jock’s wrist clutching harder. Kurt pleaded with his eyes for mercy, for the hand on his neck to at least loosen its grip, but Karofsky seemed to have lost in his own thought. He just stared. 

Karofsky was in awe with the sight in front of him. How could he not? He had always known the fact that Kurt’s face was very pretty, his body was tantalizing, his… Well… Kurt was… lush, to put it lightly. 

But to see him like this. The mouth that he had been imagining more than plenty of time exploring his mouth or sucking hard on his cock panting wide open right in front of him, so close that if he surged forward a little he could immediately taste him. Or he could just push him down and shove his cock to that open, willing and pretty mouth. He looked up and met with that beautiful glossy eyes, begging with his eyes brimming with tears, looking right at him like his life was on depended on him. If only this whole situation was in a different context. He was brought back to reality when he felt sharp nails clawing hard on his wrist and the struggling noises from Kurt’s pretty mouth. _Hot._

He loosened his grip and ultimately released it, but he didn’t fully let go of him. He brought the hand that was on the boy’s neck to his other shoulder, gripping as roughly as his other hand had on Kurt’s left shoulder. Kurt put both of his hands to his neck, just touching and put it there lightly as if it would make him stop panting and rasping like mad. 

“You’re sick.” He muttered between difficult breaths and sobs. He sounded throaty and he felt his throat aching.

Karofsky smirked then looked around, when he saw and positive nobody was around, he surged forward until his lips were next to Kurt’s ear, “We haven’t made a trip to the dumpster, today.” Karofsky said sweetly, making the boy shivers, contradicting to his sudden violent pull on the boy’s shoulders. 

Kurt was gasping for as much air he could collect and his eyes kind of blurry, with tears and lack of oxygen. His mind couldn’t focus on anything. He heard a loud wail as he was dragged and pushed to the ground carelessly, only to realised a second later that it was his own wail. He hadn’t had enough time to even breath before he felt two strong big hands pressing on his stomach and hoisting him up. 

“Quiet.” Kurt heard it so close in his ear.

It was a relatively short walk until they reached the almost too familiar dumpster for Kurt. 

He shook his head vigorously, “No… no.” He murmured brokenly. “No, please. No… Please, stop.” Kurt whispered louder, his voice came as wrecked sobs as he felt his throat closing and starting to choke itself. 

_Stop._

Karofsky slowly let his grip on Kurt’s stomach loosen and he could feel Kurt’s ass dragging slowly against his jeans-clad cock. The friction made him moan and he could felt the boy in his arms convulsing. He was painfully hard since he saw that sinful expression on Kurt’s face and now he felt tortured with the carnal throbbing between his legs. Kurt slouched down and perched on the uncomfortable pavement. 

He was a squalling mess. Kurt gathered both of his legs closer to his chest and grabbed each knee with both of his hands. He was shaking in hysteria. Trembling in fear for his life. He was also mad at himself because he felt conflicted. 

_He liked this_. It was all coming back to him and the revelation struck him sharp like a lightning. He can felt it all clearly when he saw that green hazel eyes looking at him with enraging desire. He was choked and he liked it. He must have left his body at some point and some unknown fiery and evil ghost had possessed into him. The jock palmed his cock trying to be inconspicuous but failing miserably. Kurt hid his face inside the nest he had made with his own body and his turned-up legs, pushing his head with both his hands deeper to the nest. His long fingers messing with that perfect hair and somehow in a disarrayed state like that, he looked even more delectable. 

He was hoping he gets to see that tragically beautiful face again and maybe he could get off to that, but the sound of the boy’s violent sobs was apparently enough but at the same time churning his stomach painfully.

The huge boy looked at the other boy’s tiny figure, crumpled up on the ground looking so miserable, but hauntingly exquisite. How could someone look like that simultaneously? 

He hung both his arms on his sides, looking down and drinking the sight. _He felt heartbroken._  
He stood there and shift uncomfortably with his bulging erection. He tried to calm down his sex hormone, conceding himself to experience the anguish inside him intensely. He wanted to sit next to the boy and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his hair then his face to ease the boy’s pain, alleviate all of his misery, which, he realized must have caused mostly by him.  
Then he would whisper to the boy’s ear that he was safe, that he will protect him and make sure he was secure in his arms, that he was sorry.

“I’m sorry.” Karofsky blurted. 

Kurt looked up quickly this time, wanting to call out the jock on his bullshit. He swallowed his cry and said hoarsely, 

“No, you’re not.” It came out as a whisper, but it was loud enough to be heard in the deafening school backyard. 

“I am.” He held his gaze down to Kurt’s blotched eyes. He battled with himself for a second before he shook his head, sighing in defeat, “No, I’m not.” Because no. He had enjoyed all of that, he didn’t feel sorry at all. Until he saw how the boy’s lovely but wretched face haunting down on him. But he knew he didn’t feel completely sorry, something dark and deep inside him was still exhilarated and delighted by that look. 

“I know you’re gay.” Kurt said quickly, appeasing his doubt and contemplation on how to blurted that fact out before he chickened out. He knew that now for a fact, since he felt that hard bulge rubbing against his cleft. He was hoping he sounded threatening in the least, but he also knew he failed. 

“I know that, too.” Karofsky admitted to Kurt’s surprise. Kurt was expecting the jock to be angry and denying it vehemently with all of his might. “What are you gonna do about it?” He continued angrily.

“Why do you hate me so much?” Kurt scrunched his face. He had stopped sobbing but his action made a single tear that was trapped in his eye fell down his cheek. His throat continued to feel sore and he didn’t expect it to be gone at least until a few days. 

“I don’t.” Karofsky softened again at the sight. There was a short and deafening silence following his voice. “I… I don’t know.” He ducked his head, avoiding to look at those blue orbs. “You can think whatever you want, but I like abusing you.” He said threateningly.

 _I liked that, too. How crazy I must be?_ Kurt didn’t say it out loud. He kept his eyes on the jock, he was squirming and Kurt had never seen that before. 

“You said once that I was an imbecile masochist.” He lifted his head and met Kurt’s eyes for a second before ducking it back down. Kurt didn’t remember saying both words at the same sentence but whatever, he was curious where this was going.

“I’m sorry.” Kurt whispered. Now, what was he sorry for? He didn't regret a single thing he had said to him. But that made Karofsky raised his head and fixed his eyes on Kurt. He must’ve uttered it somewhat sarcastically because he thought he saw the jock was almost grinning. 

“No, no don’t be. You’re right, the masochist part. I enjoyed every second torturing you, and I’m sorry for that.” His head was still but his gaze had lingered down to Kurt’s arms that were enveloping Kurt’s knees. 

_Don’t be._ He thought, but instead he say, “I thought you said you weren’t sorry.” 

“I’m not. I’m sorry because I enjoyed it.”  
They held their gazes for a while until Kurt looked away.

 _You’re sick. But what would that make me?_  
“Are you gonna come out?” Kurt knew the answer, he just needed confirmation, he guessed.

“Are you crazy? What? Are you going to use that against me now that you have dirt on me?” His usual monstrous demeanor was back in a second and Kurt scoffed at that.

“I’m not you. I wouldn’t out someone. That’s not who I am.” Kurt said unwaveringly despite his shattered condition.

That hurt him, _I’m not you._ Maybe he was that despicable. “Breathe the word to one soul, I’ll make sure you… You…” Karofsky bit back the word he was going to say. 'Dead' was such a strong word. “Paid.” 

Kurt looked up. For the first time, he didn’t feel intimidated in the least. With that void threat, Karofsky left him alone in the darkness.


	5. Crushes

Kurt was sauntering down the hall when he got attacked with biting cold blueberry slushie in the face. He flinched and tightly shut his eyes right before the cold substance could hit him right in the eyeballs. 

“Enjoy your facial, fairy.” One of the tormentors Kurt didn’t recognise called and he could make out the voice and several footsteps getting distant.

He shut his eyes for a couple more seconds, letting the ice to drip further from his eyes before pushing everything down with his left hand.

“Not cool, dudes!” 

Kurt heard another voice yelling nearby. He sneaked a glance quickly towards the sound before shutting it as quick as it had opened. 

“You alright, dude?” 

He heard it clearly this time, it was Puck, indeed. He hadn’t been too convinced with what he saw for just a second earlier, he could only make out another terrorising red letter jacket and a mohawk head. Kurt managed to open his eyes and gave Puck a sharp look while still desperately wiping slushies from his face.

“Peachy,” Kurt said curtly.

“Okay hold your bite, Hummel. I’m not your enemy. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He said ushering the other boy by his shoulders to the restroom without waiting another second, and Kurt wasn’t about to decide against a help when he could use one. Kurt made it to the restroom without stumbling nor colliding anybody, thanks to Puck, although he was sure he could made it just as safely by himself. 

He managed to get most of the blue ice off him and removed his damp jacket. He walked outside with it dangling on one of his arms to find Puck still there, looking at him.  
_What does he want?_ Kurt cleared his throat quietly before speaking,

“It’s very generous of you to be mindful of my distress and lend a helping hand.” He said in his usual manner and tried to understand where was all this coming from. 

“It’s nothing, and don’t be so dense,” He shoved Kurt playfully with his fist. “I mean stiff.” 

He retracted his fist when he noticed Kurt hissing softly. He was about to ask when he saw Finn strutting closer to his spot. The taller boy nodded and Puck nodded back, urging Kurt to look behind by his shoulder and following Finn with his eyes until he stopped next to where they stood. 

“Coach Beiste wants us in 5 minutes.” He informed the mohawk boy and turned to Kurt while making another nod in a friendly manner, “Hey Kurt.” 

“Hey.” Kurt nodded with a little smile playing on his face. 

“Well, see you around, Hummel.” Puck said and Kurt watched them walking away. 

Never in a million years Kurt thought he would have a crush on a jock, but here he was, fixating his eyes on the taller jock’s back. He didn’t exactly plan to be infatuated with Finn. Or that Finn was his type at all. But he was quite different than the other jocks that he got Kurt’s interest to an extent. 

Finn was what people would describe as the school star. Quarterback, lead male vocalist, although Glee is popularly known as the gay club, but lead male vocalist nonetheless. And, was currently dating the popular head cheerleader, Quinn Fabray. So, he was very much straight, evidently. But a man could dream, and Kurt needed to put his love somewhere. Finn was a perfect guy to be pining on. In spite of the fact that, lately, he’d been having another boy’s image on his mind. 

He didn’t want to go there, but the said boy suddenly appeared in his line of sight when he averted his eyes from Finn’s back. Kurt caught him staring blankly before he saw what he was already familiar with as rage. Then another pushing was forced and his back was slammed with a loud thud to the restroom door. Kurt knocked the door open and he was plunged to the unquestionably dirty restroom floor on his butt. He gasped audibly and tried to suppress his cry. 

Kurt looked up and shot Karofsky the most exasperated glare he could muster. One thing he was sure of, that he hated this boy. Hated him for making him physically and emotionally suffer. He desperately wanted to stand up for himself once again, but both his mental and physical being was too tired to do that, where he knew he would be just beaten like a lump of meat once again. He hated this boy even more for what he’d ignited in Kurt, well, part of Kurt that somehow didn’t want all this to stop. More so that he was incredibly conflicted because he felt like a hypocrite if he tried to fight him. 

“Someone’s got a little crush, I see.” The bigger jock stated. He stood towering the other boy who was trying to pick himself up from the floor. 

“I think someone owes me an explanation,” Kurt said out of nowhere. He hadn’t thought about confronting and trying to talk to Karofsky, but now it was out of his mouth, he had to face it. _Damn his mouth._

Kurt watched his face tensing and relaxing in a mere second, “What? Who?” He asked rather dumbly. 

Kurt rolled his eyes, “You just proved me how dumb you are.” He spat.

“What else do you wanna hear, Hummel?” He stepped forward, prompting Kurt to take a few steps back. “That I’m just as fairy as you are?” His voice gradually dropping towards the end of his words as he stepped closer, crowding Kurt’s space. He kicked the door close now that they are fully entered the restroom. He glanced around quickly before focusing back on Kurt.

Kurt smiled bitterly in what he hoped to be an unwavering look. “About you admitting to enjoy putting a torture–”

“I’ve told you-” He shouted and grabbed Kurt’s shoulders before Kurt could finish.

“No, you haven’t,” Kurt said adamantly, ignoring the pressure from the jock’s grip that starting to weaken him. 

“I told you that I do and that’s what people called a sadist–“

“You sound so proud about that.” Kurt cut him abruptly, not wanting to hear the word again.

“Just as you are proud for being a fag. I thought fags are one for not putting any label.”

“I’m not talking about the label here.”

When the jock raised his eyebrow, prompting him to continue, Kurt was sure he had some grip to the situation, he cleared his throat and tried to gain a little more control, 

“First of all, get your hands off me.” 

Karofsky frowned, his gaze burned through Kurt’s but slowly the grip loosened and he was off him completely. Kurt took a few discreet steps back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. The other boy, however, noticed the gesture and took a step to close the gap between them. Kurt swallowed before he started, 

“I think someone’s got a little crush, too.” He said accusingly, eyes not leaving Karofsky’s. 

The burly boy scoffed, “You sayin’ I got one on you?” 

“Well…” He started, trying to keep his eyes and voice steady, “There were a few telltales.”

“Yeah? Enlighten me.” He said, closing what a small space left between them. 

Kurt stepped back, “I heard you saying… things.” 

Kurt didn’t miss how Karofsky had glanced down quickly to his lips, he felt a shiver down his spine. He took another step backwards, and another step backwards, as the jock kept coming on to him. 

“Like what?”

Kurt couldn’t bring himself to repeat what he had said, he ignored the question and continued his account, “I’ve done my research.” He stood his ground and tried his best to be resolute, but found it difficult as Karofsky kept glancing down to his lips. “That… thing… you were admitting you are… You’re getting… Pleasure from it…” He can’t help but sound brittle.

“I know as much.” Karofsky took a final step towards Kurt as the smaller boy’s back meets the wall. 

“…Sexually.” Kurt continued. He watched his face closely and he felt himself vibrating from the look he saw in the other boy’s eyes. 

“I could torture anybody and get just that.” He crawled his fingers up to touch lightly at Kurt’s shoulder. Sending more shiver all over Kurt. 

“But you only do me.” Kurt averted his eyes down to look at the other boy’s lips and brought them back to find Karofsky had a smirk on his face, had caught what Kurt just did. 

“Hmm, what if I did?” He whimpered, ducked his head slightly, moving his face just a little bit closer to Kurt’s. His fingers now creeping on Kurt’s clothed neck, deliberately worn to cover fingers mark painting his pale neck. 

“And the other day you were… hard. I could feel your…” He clipped, letting the silence fills his sentence as he was not sure he could say the words without turned crimson. 

“ _Hmm?_ ” He made a low and deep questioning sound when he had pushed away pretty much all the oxygen left between them. Kurt felt breathless as he could feel his slow breath on his face. 

“And now you are standing too close and keep glancing down…” He was cut when he felt not only fingers but a full set of big hand circling his neck. 

He gasped and struggled for the lack of air in his lungs. He brought his hands up to claw at his wrist, pushing his nails painfully into his skin. He felt another set of hand grappling one of his shoulders and seized torturously on the exact spot where his flesh was blue. He choked another breath and cried out a moan. _A moan._

Kurt could feel his face getting hotter, embarrassed at the sound he just made and all the pain inflicted by Karofsky actually turning him on. 

Karofsky’s eyes grew wide with desire at the delicious sound Kurt had made. He could just take the boy’s lips that had been haunting his fantasy right this moment, but he was intent on watching that beautiful face taking the torture. He drove Kurt’s shoulder to ram to the wall and tighten his hold around his neck. He was presented with the hottest and prettiest face Kurt had ever made, and another delicious sound that he wanted so bad to silence with his own mouth. The nails digging into his wrist were just like the cherry on top of it all. 

He watched closely at Kurt’s face, he had those lips parted panting for breath and those teary beautiful blue eyes looking up at him. But he didn’t see any plea in those eyes, no silent begging for mercy. Instead, he saw _pleasure._

 _Had Kurt been enjoying all this?_ The thought only bound to inflame his own desire. He brought his hand that had been choking Kurt up to his face. Kurt heaved his chest, gathering as much oxygen he could greedily and immediately let Karofsky’s wrist go and put his hands around his neck. 

He clutched Kurt’s cheeks with his thumb on one cheek and the rest on another cheek, forcing the boy to look up to his own scorching eyes. 

“Kurt Hummel.” He groaned raspily, setting his eyes on those now adorably jutted out lips. “Are you actually enjoying yourself?” He turned his eyes back to the boy’s eyes and he could see the personal battle swimming in those eyes. 

He chuckled loudly at this discovery and brought his hand down to clutched at Kurt’s other shoulder, waiting for him to respond. He waited only a couple seconds before he made the conclusion of his silence. He lowered his head and surged forward to catch Kurt’s lips with his, but he was defeated by the sound of the door banged open. He immediately extracted himself from Kurt and putting a decent space between them.

“Dave! Field. Now!” One of the jocks yelled, completely oblivious to what had been going on. 

Dave looked over his shoulder and back to Kurt in a matter of second, “Coming!” He yelled exasperatedly back without leaving Kurt’s eyes. 

He stepped backwards, mouthing, “See you tomorrow,” before turned on his heel and once again left Kurt alone, although this time, it wasn’t as dark.


	6. It Felt Good

It was the next day that Kurt started to pick up what _almost_ happened the day before. He’d been too wrapped up trying to ignore the heat in the pit of his stomach all night that he didn’t even register that he was about to have his first kiss with Karofsky, of all people, and that he didn’t do anything to stop it.

He was vehemently convincing none other than himself that he couldn’t have done anything about that anyhow because he was in a great distressed state of mind. But, who was he fooling?

He let his mind to be occupied with the thought of flaming green eyes that were staring into his while every so often running them over his lips, that he muted everything around him. When he locked eyes with the exact same eyes inside his head, only this time they were across the cafeteria, that he snapped out of it. 

“You’re acting funny.” Mercedes stated, sipping her soda from a straw. 

“Yeah, you’ve been terribly quiet these days.” Artie chirped with a big grin he tried to suppress. Kurt had no idea why. Meanwhile, he can see Tina glancing back and forth him and something at the other side of the room.

“Is it Finn?” Tina said out of nowhere. Kurt blinked at her and knitted his brows,

“What?” He asked, stumped.

Then, everyone at his table shamelessly turned their heads to the jocks’ jammed table, where it seemed like the whole football team and the cheerios trying to fit into one table they practically sat at each other’s lap. He can’t see Finn, nor Karofsky anymore, and he was glad for the latter. A couple of heads turned towards their table followed by a couple more with what could be described as scowls on their faces, and it was suddenly becoming a staring contest between two tables. Kurt straightened up and immediately called his friends to attention.

“Guys, no! Stop it.” He muttered loudly for his table to hear him. They quickly snapped their heads back to Kurt and down to their foods.

“That was intense.” Artie said, now frowning down to his food.

“Yeah…” Tina looked somewhat traumatised and Kurt felt heartbroken at how easily they got intimidated. 

Kurt quickly carried the mood to something less depressing, himself, which honestly no help.  
“It’s not Finn, why would you think that?” 

“Because… You’ve been having this major crush on him since freshmen year?” Tina exasperatedly said as if it was ridiculous for Kurt to even ask. 

Oh, he might have or not have been caught staring too long at Finn at some point that he had to appease the girls by confessing his hopeless case of a crush. 

“No.” He said, “Yes.” He said again. Acknowledging that if he said no that he would have to explain about his new crush. Wait, _huh?_

“So, is it a yes or no?” Artie asked him with an amused grin. 

_He did not have a crush on Karofsky. What was his name? Dave? See! He didn’t even remember the boy’s name! No, no. He was just thrilled by the attention. Yup, that’s it. He refused to have a crush on his tormentor. It was stupid and not to mention pathetic._

“Yes.” He breathed. It may have sounded like a desperate admission that Mercedes took his hand into hers and squeezed. He would have been offended if he was genuine. 

“Hey, why don’t we go to a gay bar?” Tina uttered with such a buzz, like she was having the idea of the century. Kurt giggled, somehow he found it entertaining. “So that Kurt can find himself a willing and attainable handsome guy.” She continued.

“You sure that’s your pure motive? Not so that you can ogle guys without being ogled back?” Kurt teased.

“That would be my second motive.” She winked at Kurt.

Mercedes eyed him, then turned to Tina, “I’m not sure how my parents would feel about me going to a bar, much less a gay bar.”

“Well, how would _you_ feel?” Tina pressed. 

Mercedes face gradually brightened, “I think that’s going to be fun.”

“And how exactly do we get in?” Artie asked, then he added, “Not that I think that’s a good idea or something.” 

“Oh, you needn’t worry. Remember Wes?”

**

Wes turned out to be Mike’s cousin who attended an all-boys private school at Westerville, which in fact, would be their other competitor at regionals. And because he attended an all-boys school, apparently he best friended quite a number of gays and sometimes would join them on their clubbing adventure. Tina had said that Mike told her that Wes was most definitely straight and welcomed in the group. As for the fake IDs would be an insignificant matter to worry about. They had been asked to join him on their little and short gay pilgrim –an extended invitation is absolutely allowed– this Friday night, that is tomorrow.

He said he would think about it, which responded with a playful smack on his arm and _don’t be silly you know you want to_ from Tina. 

He didn’t know what to think of this rather spontaneous plan. He never thought about clubs a lot and when he did, he never pictured himself being inside it. It was just never his scene to begin with. He remembered what his dad said to him when he was trying to have the talk with him for the first time. It was extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing but it was informative and a decent reference when it came to this matter. _“Don’t throw yourself around.”_

He was not going to throw himself around. Although his friends were motivated to find him someone to hookup with, he was sure that they wouldn’t be able to find anyone compatible or even willing to talk to him. He was just intrigued and might want some glimpse into the world and most importantly, he was just wanna have fun. 

He had placed down all of his heavy books inside his locker and was heading to glee rehearsal when he landed on his butt and felt the wind knocked out of him. He heard a loud bang and felt all eyes in the hallway paying him sympathy. He looked up and saw Karofsky strolling pass him without as little as looking in his direction, but Kurt could as much figure what had just happened. 

Kurt clenched his teeth, as well as his face. No. He did not enjoy this at all. What was he thinking when he thought he did? He did not like this feeling of being humiliated. He hated all the eyes looking down at him and continued on as if they hadn’t seen an act of immorality in front of them. He hated that Karofsky seems to think he can keep doing this to him. The guy might have said that he liked to torture him, but that wasn’t making it okay to bully him. He hated being a bullying victim. 

He dismissed the pain shooting on his back and felt anger built up inside him. Pushing himself up from the ground, he rose and went after Karofsky. Shouting out to get the boy’s attention but the boy kept walking on to the boys’ locker room. 

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” Kurt shouted when he caught Karofsky in the locker room. 

Karofsky turned to look at Kurt and quirked an eyebrow, then turned his back to do whatever he was doing with one of the lockers. “Girls’ locker room is next door.” He informed.

“What is your problem? You’re such a hypocrite!” Kurt stepped forward to face the letterman-clad boy. 

“Excuse me?” He finally withdrew his locker and looked at Kurt.

“What are you so scared of?” Kurt took another step closer, trying to put some terror in his demeanour despite his smaller figure.

“Besides you sneaking in here to peek at my junk?” He asked which answered quickly with a scoff from Kurt.

“Oh, yeah, what a popular idea that every gays are secretly out to molest you and that’s probably what’d you do in here but I’m not you! And guess what, ham hock? You’re not my type!” He spat.

“That right?” He shortened the distance between the two of them, asking the smaller boy challengingly but failing to conceal the hurt on his face.

“Yeah, I don’t dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time they’re thirty.” He intentionally explored the button.

“Do not push me, Hummel.” He fisted one of his hands and bring it in front of Kurt’s face in warning. Kurt didn’t even flinch, his eyes steady on those green ones looking back right at him. He just wanted to let his frustration out and if he was going to get beaten out of it, so be it. 

“You’re gonna hit me? Do it.” He provoked the boy with the addition of his glare. 

Karofsky sent Kurt’s body to the metal cupboard next to them with a push of his hands, he gripped those shoulders tightly and muttered under his breath, “Don’t push me.” He warned Kurt right next to his ear and the smaller boy shuddered. He was starting to feel the battle between his body and his mind to take command of him, but he controlled himself.

“Do it.” He dared, tilting his head slightly to the side to catch the jock’s eyes to put on conviction in the other boy, might as well himself. 

The hands that were clutching his shoulders suddenly left his body with a force that he was slightly plunged backwards and hit his back to the cold locker behind him. He kept his eyes on him and he saw those hands back to him in a second, he shut his eyes. Then he felt a hand cupped his face roughly and another hand sneaked to the back of his head, pulling him towards the other boy. 

The next thing he felt was a pair of wet lips crashing onto his and immediately bit his lower lip vigorously. He opened his eyes quickly to find Karofsky face practically attached to his and he gasped. Which probably he shouldn’t have done because now a tongue slipped into his mouth and started harassing his tongue. He felt wobbly and stoned at his spot, his mind went wild with thoughts that go a mile a minute, and it all rushed back to him at once. 

Since his mind was stunned, his body instantly took control. He slid his tongue against Karofsky’s shyly, testing the water, but the foreign tongue probing against his suddenly extracted from his mouth. 

He still had his eyes open and now he was looking into those familiar yet unfamiliar green eyes that right now looking very much hazel dark. He vibrated as he regarded what he saw in those eyes as desire. Kurt brought his hand to touch on his lips, as if to make sure they were still there. Karofsky’s face was observing his, and when he saw that Kurt was not going to fight him as he stood dumbstruck, he grabbed Kurt’s wrist, clutching it tightly then dove for another kiss as fervour as the first one. 

Kurt was by any means dumbstruck. He couldn’t think, or even try to think. He felt the heat in the pit of his stomach so strong that it rose to his chest and his neck and his face. He knew his skin must be red and hot and those rough fingers caressing his face firmly just making every inch of his body shivered in cold. He couldn’t decide if it was hot or cold. He just knew this felt good. 

And numb, especially around his wrist as Karofsky was trying to stop any blood circulation there but he didn’t care. He let his body get what it wants and bit teasingly at Karofsky’s lips. Then he heard a deep low growl that jolted something inside him and in a second, he was kissing back diligently. 

Karofsky dashed forward, knocking Kurt’s body with his so that there was no space between them. Kurt’s laid off hand making its way up to hold on to the jock’s side. The kiss was merciless as Karofsky kept on nibbling hard on Kurt’s lip and his tongue kept thrusting its way into Kurt’s mouth that it might as well fucking his mouth. Kurt whimpered and parted his lips to give Karofsky better access into his mouth. He had not the slightest idea how this was done but Karofsky seemed to be guiding him and he was just doing however it felt nice and _damn it felt nice._

Then suddenly he remembered. He was kissing Karofsky and somehow that idea didn’t sit right within him, he snapped out of it quickly enough that when Karofsky bit particularly hard on his lip, he pushed the jock away with some unknown force he had in him and it successfully sent the big jock away. 

He stared widely and felt his whole body tremble. “Dave… This…” He spluttered. 

Dave was looking at him with something entirely new at the mention of his name, he was going to grab Kurt’s hands that were hanging confusedly in front of his chest when he was once again shoved back, then the boy paced frantically out of the room.


	7. The First Step

Kurt threw one of his legs over the other and looked around. He surprisingly didn’t find himself like a fish out of the water here. This was a gay bar after all. He, however, felt a little left out of the group of his friends that had been conversing here and there. But he just couldn’t find it in him to participate in the chat. Instead, he kept perusing the sketchy dim room. The music was corny and loud, so everyone was basically shouting to be able to communicate. 

“See something you like already, Kurt?” Mike tapped his back in a friendly manner, noticing that Kurt was checking out the packed dance floor. He jumped a little but quickly covered it with a shy smile, not without a blush, he knew he was going to have fun tonight. Forgetting all his reality for a moment. 

He was about to answer when another guy chirped in, “So, this is Kurt?” The guy asked. He was shorter than Mike and had quite similar skin tone. Kurt didn’t have to think twice to know this is the said cousin.  
“I’m Wesley.” He offered his hand to Kurt then added, “Just call me Wes.” 

“Hi.” He didn’t know for sure but thought he sounded a little breathy. “Kurt.” He added with a shake on their joined hands. 

“First time?” Wes asked when he brought him to stand and follow him. Kurt unconsciously trailed behind him. 

“Um, yes. That obvious?” Kurt asked with a small nervous laugh that sounded ugly, he hoped nobody had heard that. 

“I figured as much.” He said, looking over his shoulder to make sure Kurt wasn’t being combed out by the crowds. “Come on, you haven’t met The Warblers yet.” 

“Guys, I’m gonna go find Tina,” Mike announced with a slap on Wes’ back and then disappear. Kurt wished he had joined them while they were talking earlier so he didn’t have to do this alone, he saw a group of guys that he supposed to be The Warblers, with none of the New Direction kids to be seen. He looked back and saw them had conquered the dance floor, Santana looked like she was having a little dispute with some guy. How she was here with them now was still a mystery to Kurt. 

He was still a little disappointed with Mercedes absence among his friends as she announced her unavailability tonight due to a last-minute date with a guy from her church. He wished her well.

His assumption was proven right when Wes approached the suspected Warbler group, a few of them looked up to them and gave Wes some sort of a high five before Wes looked back at Kurt, then back at his fellows. 

“Who’s this twinkle tush?” Kurt heard before Wes could introduce him to the group, he looked at one lanky brunette with a scowl on his face. Kurt frowned at the name.

“Bas, behave.” Wes chided. Kurt was still taken aback by the name-calling, was his friends right about them being open and supportive to gays? Why did he have to go through this again now? But as soon as he caught the ‘Bas’ guy looking up and down at him pleasantly, he stopped worrying. 

“Blaine hasn’t arrived?” Wes asked to no one in particular.  
“B couldn’t make it,” Bas answered curtly, still scanning Kurt to the point where Kurt wanted to sprint away. 

“Well, boys… This is Kurt Hummel. Kurt, The Warblers.” Wes took a seat in a vacant chair across the Bas guy, leaving one empty seat beside the tall guy. Maybe he didn’t have to sit, he could just say hi and tell them he would join his friends. They exchanged names, which Kurt couldn’t store all of the informations to his memory and in the end only remembering one guy’s name by the end of the exchange, Nick, but he couldn’t tell which one was. 

“I’m Sebastian.” The tall boy introduced himself, Kurt reached for the offered hand and low muttered ‘Kurt’. He realised that everyone expected him to sit, which he didn’t and made an awkward body gesture in his standing position while everybody was seated. 

“You can sit here.” Sebastian patted the empty space beside him, “I was saving this for another sweet tush but since you are cute and gay, you can put that ass here.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows at that, glancing around seeing as no one seemed to be open-mouthed at the remark, he guessed this was just how he usually talk and sat beside Sebastian. He worriedly wondered what would they be talking, his eyes scanned to the dance floor where his friends were and longing to join them. 

“Hey, relax. We don’t bite. Here, take a sip.” Sebastian threw his arms atop the backrest behind Kurt and offered him a sweaty glass of something that resembles mojito minus the mints, bringing the glass in front of his face. Kurt lifted his hand and took the glass, hesitating before taking a sip.

“Your first time drinking, Kurt?” Asked one of the warblers with dark skin and butched head. Kurt nodded while squinting his eyes. It definitely wasn’t mojito. 

“We’re honoured to be witnessing this moment.” Kurt heard somebody commented but couldn’t bring himself to respond.

They were chatting lightly, mostly about the glee club and The Warblers confidently saying that they will beat New Directions and Kurt simply replied with _Oh I think it’s quite easy for us to kick your uniform-clad butts_ and responded with laughs and Kurt finally found himself relaxing, mind the eyes from his right side that putting a hole through his head. He cleared his throat and decided to out with what he had been curious about. 

“Can I ask you guys a question?” Kurt asked, finally turning his head to his right side as he felt the boy beside him straightened up. Sebastian had one of his eyebrows quirked, clearly interested at Kurt’s sudden change of tone. 

Kurt heard mutters of sure, shoot, go ahead and The Warblers anticipating eyes at him. He inhaled deeply before spitting it out.

“I know Wes isn’t but, are you guys all gay?” He squinted a little after the question left him. He was responded with boisterous waves of laughter from the group, one of them that had been giggling all night was now tearing up. 

“Had your eyes on somebody, Kurt? You know I am. Are you into group sex?” Sebastian teased. Kurt’s eyes widened at such a vulgar word. He blabbered a little to defend himself.

“No! Wha… I… No.” Kurt wondered if being gay meant promiscuous life for all the gays he’d encountered had such a filthy mouth.

“Cut it, Bas. Give the poor kid some space.” He heard someone said, followed by a loud chuckle from Sebastian.

“No, we’re not gay school, Kurt,” Wes said, amused. 

“Although all-boys school might sound like a gay wet dream, sadly not all of them are… exploring.” One of the Warblers said, sighing exaggeratedly, clearly joking. Kurt might have stared too long for the boy clarified himself, “I am, gay, most of these guys have girlfriends.” Kurt regretted he hadn’t remembered the name. He nodded and lost in his own thought for a second. 

“We have a strict no-bullying policy. Everyone’s treated the same at Dalton.” Wes added, suddenly sounded concerned. “I heard from Mike that you were the only out kid at your school and some of the football guys make fun of you?” 

Kurt bitterly snorted, if only they were just making fun of him. “Yeah. Pretty much.” He decided not to throw a pity party. He was going to have fun tonight, be a normal, happy, teenager. He shook his head subtly, feeling drowsy all of a sudden. 

“That sucks, you should come and enrol at Dalton,” Sebastian said lightly, his hand travelled to Kurt’s back. 

Kurt straightened up his back but the hand hadn’t left, it just kept wandering around his back and Kurt tried to ignore the tipsiness and now a quite familiar rush in his stomach. He had only a couple sips of what he assumed gin and tonic from the look of it, he didn’t know what gin and tonic would taste like or if what he tasted earlier were gin and tonic, and he certainly didn’t think he would be such a lightweight. His mind was kind of swirling and he felt his head heavy it was getting difficult to think.

“Blaine actually transferred to Dalton because of the policy. He had his fair share of homophobic people in his old school.” Wes thought out loud. 

“He did?” Sebastian asked, Wes nodded and looked at him, his face saying _how come you didn’t know?_ Sebastian just shrugged his shoulders nonchalant. 

Wes saw Kurt’s lost face and he continued, “Blaine’s one of the Warblers, he’s our lead singer. He couldn’t join us tonight but you’ll see him at the sectionals. He’s amazing…” Kurt heard Sebastian muttered under his breath _tell me about it_ loud enough for everyone to hear, “…I’m sure you guys’ll get along.”

Kurt smiled with a funny pout, glancing curiously over his shoulder to see Sebastian’s lecherous face at him and his wandering hand never failing to stroke his back. He sent him a bitch glare with one of his eyebrows raised, Sebastian just gave him a wide grin. 

“Well, I don’t intend on you guys getting along because I plan to keep you only to myself.” 

Wes rolled his eyes and Kurt heard utterances of _here we go again_. Sending off an aura of disapproval through his body that apparently this meerkat guy immune to. Santana decided to appear at their table at that moment, eyeing Sebastian and Kurt who were looking cozy, if one not myopic enough to see the strained body from one of them. 

“This place sucks. Where’s your Shirley Temple, Kurt? I want a sip.” She jabbed Kurt’s shoulder to get his attention, it wasn’t harsh but painful nonetheless to Kurt’s abused skin. He flinched.

Sebastian quirked his eyebrow at Santana then back at Kurt, “I should’ve known you were a Shirley Temple guy.” He smiled wickedly at Kurt, or probably he tried to smile nicely but his face was just a hopeless case of malevolent faces. 

Santana frowned, slithering her body between Kurt and Sebastian, cutting off any contact between the two boys as Sebastian slowly retreated his hand and back on his lap, wearing a displeased face. Kurt secretly thankful for he could relax his awkward body posture, but missed the travelling warmth on his back at the same time, he refused to agree with his body.  
“What have you been drinking?” She asked, scrutinising the beverages on the table and picked a half-empty glass placed in front of Kurt. 

“This ain’t no Shirley Temple.” Sebastian plucked the glass from Santana’s hand, “Go order one yourself, it’s on me.” 

“Don’t bother, Nick at Nite, I can buy my own firewater.” She scowled, stood and proceed to the bar where Kurt saw his friends were hanging at. His vision suddenly became dimmed and he blinked the blurriness away. “You coming, Kurt?” Santana asked, well, shouted when she was halfway. She looked over her half-turned body and waited. 

“Let’s go dance!” Kurt felt a hand climbing its way back to his nape. “Bottoms up.” Sebastian cooed like he was telling a child to finish his warm milk before bed and lifted the glass in front of Kurt’s mouth, helping him to finish its entire content. Kurt knew he shouldn’t swallow any more booze considering his thrumming head and chest and stomach, but everything around him moved too fast while his mind felt like about to shut off. He finished his drink. 

Then he was helped to stand on his feet, a hand tangled with his while the other conquered its place on his waist. He was losing his balance and had to rely on something to be able to prop on his feet, and that something happened to be Sebastian as his grabby hands could only reach the tall boy limbs. 

“We’ve got ourselves a lightweight.” A familiar voice from the Warblers said dramatically, they chuckled and continued their boy chat. Kurt looked at where Santana was but couldn’t find her. Then in a flash, he was jamming in the packed dance floor. 

He was terribly off-balanced but he was dancing. Plastered to Sebastian’s warm body the entire time, the body owner didn’t seem to mind. He fastened his grip on the taller boy’s shoulders for balance. The music was so loud he could feel it was thrumming through his skull. He felt sleepy but not on the verge of sleep. Maybe this was what being drunk feels like. 

Kurt’s body was slumped with his cheek posting on Sebastian’s surprisingly broad and nice chest, they were dancing happily around in circles and Kurt caught some drunken eyes around the room directed at him, or to be exact, his slightly bent ass with the position he unconsciously instituted. He heard snickers next to his ear before he felt a pair of hands that were around his waist were dragged lower to his ass and then he felt a squeeze. 

“You’ve got some nice ass, you know that?” Sebastian’s voice was rasping deep, soft to his ear and he couldn’t deny his body any further that he was gradually turned on. He made a noncomittal questioning _hmm_ before looking up and grin widely when he was met with an amused face of Sebastian, then plopped his head back to his confine. He was giddy and never before felt this loose. 

“Will I be facing a certain someone that would be angry with you in my arms?” Kurt heard those voice close to his ear again, this time he shivered as he felt the boy deliberately puffing against his ear. 

Kurt brought his head up and propped his chin on to Sebastian's shoulder, closing any distance their bodies had before and start grinding. Sebastian groaned and drop his head to latch his mouth onto Kurt’s neck, “I take that as a no?”

“This feels so good.” Kurt ignored any of his questions completely, concentrating as much as he could to thrust and roll his hips to chase that flutter in his belly. 

“Couldn’t agree more.” Sebastian squeezed Kurt’s cheeks painfully and practically slamming Kurt’s body onto his groin. Kurt had to fasten his lazy grips on Sebastian’s bicep so his weight won’t topple their joined bodies. 

They both kept moaning into each other’s necks, their breaths tickling each other and send more shivers and excitement. 

Then it stopped, he had to hold up his heavy head on his own as the shoulder he was propping on suddenly too tall for his head to reach, when he opened his unconsciously closed eyes, he immediately had to shut them again as he felt a wet and warm pair of lips on his. It was all too familiar, hungry and demanding. Kurt wondered if this was how everybody kisses. With the tongue slipping into his mouth and Sebastian’s hard length grinding against his, not to mention the hard squeeze on his ass every now and then, Kurt convinced he could explode. 

“Let’s go someplace quiet,” Sebastian whispered after he had pulled away. He grabbed Kurt and led him out of the swarm of people.


	8. Tighter

Momentarily forgotten where he was, Kurt blinked sleepily, adjusting his eyes to the warm and brighter light in the restroom. It was still a lot dim, but it was a little brighter than the lighting behind the door. A pair of lips sucking wetly on his neck sent shivers all over his body, hands gripping his hip and shoulder intensified the stinging pain from contusions that seemingly permanent on his skin. Kurt's breathing hitched every now and then as the pain and pleasure shooting up his spine at the same time. He fastened his grips on already rumpled clothes from his hand. He was involuntarily mumbling a string of unintelligible words, and when he felt teeth scraping the skin of his neck, he moaned shamelessly.

“You like that?” Suddenly he was crowded with a face breathing so close to his. The boy’s green eyes smouldering with want, so strong Kurt could feel it too. 

He nods unthinkingly, he felt his brain wasn’t registering the world, he couldn’t wrap his head around anything because it was currently ablaze with desire. He may not be able to think straight, but somewhere deep within him wondering how could he feel this loose only from a glass of something he wasn’t even sure what. He wondered if there was another stuff in them.

His hazy thought was cut when those well-kissed lips were back on his and Kurt realized in that second just how much he liked kissing. He had realized it since yesterday when Dave kissed him and he was kept awake all night with the ghost of lips haunting his mind. He felt sick. Or at least he should. He indeed felt sick, because he liked it. 

Some scrawny guy with ripped denim vest made an entrance and stopped in his tracks, eyes meeting Kurt’s helpless ones, probably surprised to see such a scene, but evidently, that wasn’t stopping him from his purpose, or Sebastian’s purpose, as he stepped to the rows of the urinal and did his business, eyes never leaving the two of them. Kurt felt uneasy under a spectator scrutinizing eyes, but hotter all the same. He tried to ignore those watching eyes and focused on the building heat inside his stomach as Sebastian practically lapping at his face and holding both of his wrists, retracting them from further wrinkling his clothes. When the guy left, both of them barely realized they had been having a viewer. 

He pulled away without leaving too much space between them, he would have definitely surprised himself if he could actually register what he was saying next, 

“Grip me tighter.” He demands. 

Sebastian backed away a little to take a good look at Kurt, he eyed him incredulously, then smirked. 

“One look at you tells me you’re a virgin, who knew you liked it rough?” He spoke while lowering his head to Kurt’s ear, nibbling and licking, then he did as Kurt had said. 

Kurt couldn’t help the noises he made, his shoulder and hip where Sebastian touched were hurting but so good, with the added wet pressure on his collarbone and puffs of breath tickling his skin. 

“You smell so good.” Sebastian straightened up, hands off of Kurt to do another job, eyes focused on Kurt’s torso, fingers working on his button. “Gonna fuck your brains out.” He mumbled before diving to leave wet trails of kisses along Kurt’s bare shoulder. His fingers weren’t finished undressing Kurt’s shirt as he was too tempted to flick those buds of nipples. 

“Do you want it to hurt, Kurt?” His voice was so close to his ear, Kurt trembled a little and stupidly nodding his affirmation. Then he felt a pinch to both his nipples, squeezing firmly Kurt had to scream out his pleasure. 

“Oh? What is this?” Sebastian stepped back, leaving Kurt a mess for suddenly he was cold without another human pressing to him. Sebastian scanned his exposed skin intently with such an incredulity Kurt thought he was growing another head. 

“You’ve been busy, I see.” He said with a smirk that Kurt wanted to punch. Or kiss. Kurt didn’t understand whatever Sebastian was saying, and he didn’t want to know. He just wanted to be touched again, he took a step closing the gap between them, and throw himself at the taller boy, within a second they were back at it. 

Kurt didn’t realize how hard he was until a hand reaching down and cupping his hardness through his pants. He bucked up searching for more friction. His moans swallowed by Sebastian's hungry mouth. Suddenly he was being picked up by two strong hands on his ass, he locked his legs around the taller boy’s waist and clutching his shoulders hard. Shamelessly and eagerly rutting his erection a little at the contact. 

Then he was placed on the corner of a countertop. He was grateful for he wasn’t so sure how long his knees would have been able to support his body, he slouched his back a little to the cold mirror behind him. From this point, he could see the whole dim-lighted room, with a portion blocked by Sebastian’s tall figure. He heard the door being swung but he didn’t get to turn his head to see as Sebastian latched his mouth to Kurt’s for who knew how many times. 

Kurt didn’t know where it came from but his hands started exploring that nice and broad, unluckily clothed chest and rewarded with a sound that only stimulating his funny-feeling stomach. 

“Kurt?” 

He heard vaguely. But paid no mind. And soon the voice echoed once more, this time he heard it closer and clearer. 

“Kurt.” Then the voice raised an octave when he said another boy’s name. “Sebastian?!”

Kurt missed the heat immediately as Sebastian turned to look at the burly guy at the door frame. 

“Oh, hello there.” He smirked. “Have you been looking for me? Why are you sound so surprised to see me?” 

Kurt lifted his head slightly to get a better view of the guy, he feared those voices, thought his mind was playing tricks on him. But those familiar flaming eyes that always stared at him with such hate and longing, brought out the churning feeling inside him. Fear, hate, craving…

Dave stepped inside and closed the door behind him, without letting his eyes off Kurt. Sebastian realized what Dave had been looking at and he glanced back and forth for a full second before the smirk rose on his face. The smirk that Kurt would love to wipe forever off his face. 

“Threesome?”

“Are you kidding me?” Dave scoffed incredulously.

Sebastian lifted an eyebrow, then frowned. “No? Okay, more for myself.” Sebastian petted the scruff of Kurt’s neck, Kurt squeezed his eyes for a moment, stared right at Dave when he opened his eyes back.

Dave eyed the slouching boy on the corner who stared back at him hollowly, then he recognized something,

“You drugged him?!” He snapped, frowning at Sebastian.

Sebastian laughed dryly, not minding the other boy watching them, he was about to answer but Dave beat him to it. 

“Holy shit, what did you do to him? He’s all beaten!” Dave caught glances at the purple and yellow patches on Kurt’s pale skin. He knew he was just expressing his surprise at seeing his own mark on the boy. 

Sebastian raised both his hands in a gesture of placating, retracting them off Kurt, in which he surged to follow but failed, “I couldn’t take credit for all of those crazy bruises on him. He’s kinky, huh?” He caressed Kurt’s warm cheek and Kurt leaned into the touch like a soft puppy.

“What do you mean?” Dave stepped closer, both boys crowding the smaller boy more into the corner.

“He’s had those before I put my hands on him. Someone really gave it to him hard.” Sebastian pulled Kurt’s hair a little, about to kiss him again. The boy was pliant under Sebastian’s handsy hands. 

“Don’t touch him,” Dave said quickly, he even surprised himself. He couldn’t take it back now it's out there.

Sebastian stopped and turned his head, he had a confused smirk on his face, 

“What?” It seemed that the words not only surprised Sebastian but the smaller boy as well as he turned his head to him as well. He blinked sleepily with a confused-out-of-world look on his face. 

“Get your hands off him.” Dave eyed Sebastian’s fingers clutching Kurt’s hair, and he wanted nothing but to throw this lanky boy into the septic tank. He was impossibly fuming.

“Why?” Sebastian straightened his figure, facing Dave fully without retracting his hands from Kurt. 

“Don’t ask! Just get off him.” He stepped forward about to unlatched Sebastian off of Kurt himself. His movement threw Sebastian off and he stepped back immediately. 

“Woah, easy there! What the hell, Karofsky? You know him or something?” Then it dawned on him that they both go to the same school. “Oh.” He said, watching the boy glanced at him for a second, then stepped into Kurt’s space and just staring. 

Kurt mindlessly watching their bickers without fully comprehending what was going on. He just wondered why wasn’t the tall guy touching him. 

“Back off, now. Okay? He’s mine.” He stepped in front of Kurt, blocking him from Sebastian completely with his big figure, doing Kurt’s buttons up. He heard Kurt whimpering softly.

“Yours? As in boyfriend?” Sebastian asked with an irritated voice.

Dave didn’t even try to answer and kept on doing Kurt’s shirt, he stopped for a second to stare at his skin, awful coloured patches across his shoulders and arms, finger-shaped bruised on his waist. He sighed, Kurt looked delicious but this view clenched his heart painfully. Kurt was so beautiful with his skin so pale and seemingly untainted. No wonder he’d always had those layers to hide this –his bullies marks on him– from the world. He couldn’t help himself not to smooth a coloured skin on the boy’s shoulder. He must have had gotten this from a locker shove, Dave thought automatically. 

“Or pet?” Sebastian continued, prompting an answer.

“None of your business, Bas.” Dave sucked in a breath and answered curtly. The thought of Kurt as his pet stirred him into rousing imagination. 

“Oh, it is my business. You see, you can’t just step in and take away my dinner then expect me to go to bed in peace. At least tell me why. Tell me you guys in a lovey-dovey committed relationship or something as nauseating. Then I’ll think whether I’ll back off or not.” He snapped but can’t help himself for not being smug for once. 

“Just… give him to me now. Don’t ask questions. Go find yourself another fuck buddy.” Dave helped pull Kurt to stand up, but Kurt retracted his hands weakly. His heart did a little squeeze around itself at Kurt’s useless withdrawal. 

“Nggh, want Sebastian.” Kurt made quite an adorable show of grabby hands at Sebastian like a baby grasping a shiny and fun new object. Sebastian seemed pleased and laughed out his amusement. 

“See? He wants me.” Sebastian said cockily, stepping forward a few steps to reach Kurt. Dave thought he had been feeling funny since he saw Kurt’s state under Sebastian’s mercy, but nothing prepared him for the sting he was feeling at Kurt’s words. Kurt wanted Sebastian. And Dave was pissed. He won’t let Sebastian get his way with Kurt, or let Kurt have Sebastian. Whatever. He was the bully, anyway, he had always been the villain. 

“You fucking drugged him! He doesn’t know any better.” He turned to spit right at Sebastian’s face. 

“And… you’re better than me?” Sebastian frowned angrily and asked challengingly. 

Dave scoffed, “You seriously asking me that?” He retorted just as challengingly. It became a glaring contest between them that lasted only for a few intense seconds. God, they can never stand each other. 

“Fuck off, Dave.” Sebastian shoved at Dave’s shoulders, the boy didn’t budge. Dave only stood an inch closer and taller and keep glaring. 

“Look, those marks? It’s all me. They’re my mark you’ve been sucking on. He’s mine. You fuck off.” Dave pushed Sebastian’s shoulder back as a retort. 

“You didn’t even know about those marks!” Sebastian breathed out his laugh unbelievably. 

“Oh, wanna see what I know?” He said, daring the slender boy to hear him out. Although, Dave was sure he didn’t actually know any better than Sebastian. “I know the finger-shaped bruises along his waist has my fingerprints on them. And you don’t even want to know what I know about what’s on those legs, and how red his ass is marked with the shape of my hand on them.” Dave lied confidently, he took chances on the mention of the waist. Or his conscience just knew it was all him on the boy’s waist. Dave stood tall and his stare was nothing short of threatening. 

Sebastian stared back angrily, then he rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I don’t want to fuck something you’ve used, anyway.” 

“Then you shouldn’t be able to live with yourself.” He said dryly watching the boy stepping backwards to remove himself from the restroom, he lifted an eyebrow and smile that same smug smile he had been doing all night. 

Dave turned his attention back to Kurt. He tried again to get Kurt on his feet, the boy relented this time. He stood with a wobbly leg and anchoring on Dave’s arm as he tried to the surface of the dirty toilet floor as if making sure it wouldn’t suck him when his feet touch. 

“Why did he leave? He doesn’t want me?” Kurt asked, whispered sadly. 

“He’s nobody, Kurt. Don’t mind him.” He pulled Kurt closer to him, letting the boy leaned his weight on him. He just wanted to get out of there as quick as they could. And besides, Kurt’s warmth felt nice on his skin. 

Then Kurt started sobbing. 

He stopped his hand halfway before reaching the doorknob, his hand reaching Kurt’s shoulder instead. He turned his shoulder and made him stand a little further for Dave to look at his face. He had to duck his head to be able to see his scrunching face with tears trailing down his cheeks, his eyelashes damp and his eyes look puffy and red-rimmed. Dave panicked.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” He muttered softly, afraid if he spoke too loud the boy would break. Kurt only sobbed harder and shook his head.

 _Shit_ … Did he do something wrong? Did Kurt want Sebastian that bad? He had never had to deal with this. Usually, when he made some kids cry, he would just flee with a laugh. He couldn’t now, could he? No, he _wouldn’t_. 

Kurt looked so sad. It wasn’t the first time Dave had seen him looking so miserable. And plenty of times––most of the time, he had caused it. And all of those times, he had wanted to crawl back to Kurt and kiss him better.

Sure he liked teasing, or more accurately torturing Kurt. But sometimes he wondered if he could just torture him without causing any anguished look on the boy’s face. If it could be mixed with pleasure instead…

And he really would like to trail kisses on those tear-stained cheeks…

Dave settled for putting his arms around Kurt instead and Kurt just melted into his chest. He rocked him a little until the sobbing dissipate. 

“Let’s go. I’ll take you home.” He whispered into his ear, unthreateningly. 

Kurt blinked the wetness of his eyes sleepily, breathed through his mouth with a hitched here and there, hiccuped for a while, and Dave’s heart felt like it was being ripped in pieces. It looked so difficult for him to breathe, and Dave didn’t quite understand why was Kurt crying. He looked pretty eager with Sebastian earlier. Maybe he should’ve punched Sebastian square in his face. Or he shouldn't have meddled. But he didn't like what he saw, he didn't want Kurt with Sebastian. He wanted Kurt just for himself.

When he stepped outside, he was faced with a fierce faced Latina about to enter the women’s restroom. He froze in place, knowing that he wasn’t supposed to be seen by anybody, or at least anyone from McKinley High, God forbid his relatives. What was Santana doing in a gay club anyway?

“Karofsky.” She stated. She stared back and forth between Dave and Kurt, calculating her confusion. Dave could see she was putting her brain into gear. When she landed her eyes longer on Kurt, they went big as saucers, her eyebrows contorted into a frown. “Oh my God, what did you do to him?” 

Dave breathed out a little, he was grateful for any pending to his inevitable confrontation. He knew it was coming. He wished it wouldn’t. 

“Nothing.” He said tiredly. “Some guy drugged him and tried to practically eat him. I didn’t do anything to him.” The latter felt like a lie, somehow.

Santana raised one eyebrow, “That Dalton bitchlet?” She scoffed at Karofsky shocked face. “I knew he looked shady.” Then she stared for a moment more, “What are you doing here? You weren’t with us glee club, were you?”

Here we go… 

“And why are you helping him? I thought you hated the gays.” She stepped closer, still looking back and forth between him and Kurt who was now on the verge of sleep.

He was screwed.


	9. Normally

“Morning.” Dave chirped from where he leaned at the door frame, walked toward the bed, and took a sit on top of one folded leg at the edge, admiring the sleep warm boy blinking the sleep away. 

Kurt blinked several times and licked his dry lips, making a face at how dry his mouth felt. He sat up immediately at the realization of being stared at, he can’t help but felt anxious. “Where am I?” His voice croaked from the sleep, and the overuse of moaning the night before. _The night before._

“My bedroom.” _My bed._ Karofsky said calmly, contrary to how he felt inside at having Kurt on his bed. With a lot less layer than he had ever seen him and painful-looking dark-colored patches across his pale skin. He decided it was not the time to be having an erection, so he dropped the thought and maintained his eyes on Kurt’s sweet face.

Kurt took in the room openly, turning his head and guiding his eyes to peruse all over it. The bedroom screamed masculine, painted with dark blue and deep wooden flooring. It looked especially warm despite the dimness by the open slanted window flashing the sunlight on his right side. The greenish-blue tartan comforter thrown over him felt soft and he grabbed a fistful to cover his body when he realized he was only in his undershirt and tight underpants. He eyed the other boy and quickly explained how he had started stripping after they got in.

His mind was suddenly slapped with the memory of last night, it was like blurry flashbacks but he remembered most of what had happened, or at least what he thought had happened. 

“I made out with a meerkat?” He voiced out his mind, narrowing his eyes in confusion at how ridiculous it sounded. 

“What?” Dave sounded unfazed.

Kurt didn’t need to repeat because it came back to him in a second. _Sebastian._ His stomach did something uncomfortable right at that moment and he felt dizzy with embarrassment. The dance-turn-grinding on the dance floor, the on-his-part-needy make out in the bar restroom. Now if it wasn't an utter cliché, Kurt didn't know what was. 

_Don’t throw yourself around._ Suddenly his dad's voice rang inside his brain and didn’t help his disoriented mind, or stomach. This was too much to handle first thing right after waking up.  
He felt like crying, some more. He knew he’d cried last night at the same recollection, at the same consciousness of letting himself be used like some… He shook his head, not the time for a pity party. He shut his eyes, inhaled a sharp breath in, and decided to cry some more later in the safe confine of his own bedroom. 

He looked up and caught his bully’s eyes on him. He should feel unpleasant, loathe, insecure, and all things along those lines. But instead, he felt warm. Probably had something to do with the direct daylight projected by the window on the bed, or something ineffable Kurt longed to search reflected in those green eyes so bright in the daylight, or the thought of Dave hand on his shoulder blade rubbing circles, trying to console him when he was freaking out last night. 

He should say something because it had been too quiet for a moment, it was getting awkward. He squirmed, fisting the comforter under the palm of his hand, and cleared his throat. 

“Why weren’t you taking me to _my_ house?” He didn’t mean to sound accusing, but he did.

“I was.” Dave looked guilty and a little frustrated, “but then I saw Finn and I freaked out.” 

“Finn? Why was he at my house?” Kurt asked, raising one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows.

“How would I know?” He muttered, disinterested.

Kurt thought for a while, but all train of thought came quickly crashing down with a furious blush on his face. Where had Dave slept last night? He felt hot all over as he realized he was on another boy’s bed. Not like when he was having a sleepover with the girls with fruity drinks and pink smell. Boy’s… If he didn’t know he was gay, he certainly would now. 

“How did you talk your parents out into letting you taking a boy to your bed?” He didn’t let his sheepishness show and suddenly felt brazen to say it out loud.

“Nothing. They are away for the weekend. Great grandpa’s birthday in Cleveland’s main house.” He said like he was reminding himself instead of informing Kurt. Instead of focusing on the information, Kurt thought, _great, and we’re alone._ Kurt shook the thought off right away.

They fell into silence. It was probably stretched to a few minutes of staring at each other when Dave decided to break it. “Would you like something to eat?” 

“No.” But Kurt’s stomach betrayed him as it started to growl loudly as if calling Kurt out on his lie.

“Your stomach said otherwise.” Dave smiled like he was trying to suppress a laugh. He looked at Kurt almost lovingly and Kurt fidgeted under his gaze. Ducking his head to hide his blush because _damn he was handsome with a smile on his face._

“I haven’t had anything to eat last night, but I don’t really feel like eating.” Kurt explained. Shifting his focus anywhere but the bigger boy’s face. 

“Come on. Greasy breakfast is perfect for hangovers.” Dave said lightly, trying to convince Kurt into food because Dave had only ever seen him eat leaves and celeries. 

“I’m not hangover.” Kurt said hurriedly. He felt a little nauseous but didn’t feel any thrumming pain in his head, had only one glass of… something, but why was he so drowsy and horny last night?

“Yeah, you were drugged.” Dave said grimly, looking at the other boy expectantly.

“What?” Kurt asked not because he didn’t hear what he was saying. 

Dace sighed. He turned on his butt to face the smaller boy, told him gently that he was drugged with some kind of viagra, that Sebastian was infamous at Scandals for his pick-up method. And that was why he‘d thrown himself at Sebastian for him to pounce. 

“Oh God, I’m gonna be sick. Er. Sicker.” Kurt raised his hand to cover his mouth, the other clutching the front of his white t-shirt.

“Do you need to throw up?” Dave sat up immediately, looking mildly panic.

“Please don’t say throw up.” Kurt made to say with a strained voice, shaking his head with a finger pointing at the roof.

Dave snorted a little, he can’t help, really. Kurt was adorable even in his sleep-crumpled and semi-hangover state. “Okay, I won’t.” He stood up and turned to Kurt, “Just, stay here. Lie back and don’t punish yourself over it. You did nothing wrong, Kurt. It was his fault.” Dave paused without averting his gaze on the boy. “Wait for me here okay?” Then he exited the door, Kurt could hear his footsteps down the stairway farther with each step.

Kurt complied and settled his body on his back, pulling up the duvet and burying himself under it until it reached his nose. He could smell Dave amongst the minty body wash, detergent, and cinnamon. It was a very pleasant smell and Kurt found himself inhaling with his eyes closed and waited.

Dave brought up a tray with two plates full of toasts with butter and jam, along with two boxes of coconut water. Kurt sat up when Dave placed the tray on his lap, and he jumped into bed in front of him, bumping Kurt’s leg under the duvet during the process. 

“Let’s eat, okay?” Dave said, like having breakfast in bed with a boy was not a big deal. Maybe it wasn’t, maybe Kurt was just a hopeless romantic. 

They ate in silence, Kurt tried to make small conversations in between bites, about the school paper, his theory about Brett being homeless because he smells homeless, how once Kurt got a morsel of toast inside his jacket pocket after being dumped into a dumpster and Dave shifted uncomfortably, trying not to eye the exposed discolorations on his skin. Dave was quiet, responding to Kurt with a hum and nods and prompting looks to continue, other than that, his eyes never left Kurt’s face. It was unabating, as if Kurt was the most interesting person in the whole universe and so, so different from the looks he usually throws him from across the hallway. Kurt managed to down two slices of toast, ate not without difficulty as Dave won’t stop staring. 

Kurt followed Dave down the stairs after putting on his clothes and insisted on doing the dishes after Dave had put them in the sink. He was stopped by big hands on his shoulder and he winced involuntarily. Dave didn’t pull back his hands, muttered a sorry and petting Kurt gently. Kurt was indescribably surprised. Dave continued on his plan to do the dishes after he sent Kurt back. 

The drive was less quiet than the breakfast, Dave talked about silly things that happened at practices which mostly involved Finn, jokes Azimio made that particularly didn’t sound bad, and loud and incessant Rachel Berry. Kurt laughed at Dave’s cackles in between recounts.

When they arrived at Kurt’s neighborhood and approaching the front porch, Kurt turned slightly to look at him, “Dave?” He waited until the other boy stopped the car and look back at him. “Thanks, for stopping me.” He said sincerely. Because who knows how far last night would have gone if Dave hadn’t suddenly shown up. Now, what was Dave doing there anyway? But decided not to ask, that was a conversation for another day, if there would be another day Dave would actually talk to him. Now he just wanted a shower and his bed.

He saw Dave smiled the slightest and nodded, his hand was already at the handle but he let it go, dropped his hand on his lap, and turned fully to face Dave. “Why are you being nice to me? We haven’t argued in this conversation. Not even one raised voice.” He finally acknowledged the elephant flying between them since he woke up today. 

Dave averted his eyes to the stirring wheel and took a deep breath, “Kurt, I’m sorry.” 

Kurt raised his eyebrow, certainly wasn’t expecting an apology. He didn’t know what to say until the boy continued. 

“I’m really sorry.” He said again, then look up back at Kurt to elaborate. “For forcing a kiss on you. For pushing you around and ruined god knows how many of your fabulous outfits, with the true intention of advancing on you…” He slowed down, waiting for a reaction, but Kurt’s suddenly serious face just urged him to continue. “And for being a coward in general.”

Kurt thought for a while before a small smile played on his lips. “You don’t apologize to me for the latter. Do it to yourself and do something about it.” He stopped abruptly when he realized what it could sound like he was implying. “I’m not saying that you should come out.” Dave seemed unperturbed, just kept looking like he had been doing all morning. Kurt thought he would be facing an angry scowl, but no, Kurt didn’t know what to categorize the look on his face as, like he was probably enticed and considering the idea. “You should come to terms with it that, this is you. A part of you that makes you who you are.” 

“I don’t want to be defined by my sexuality.” He said matter-of-factly.

“Don’t let it define you. You have control over them, not the other way around.” Kurt sounded a little persuading, it was proved to be a failure by the unconvincing retort that followed. 

“How’s it working out so far for you?” Dave scoffed.

“I never let it rule me. I am who I am. My sexuality is part of me and I embraced them instead of pushing them down the closet. I was bullied even before I came out, you are in a better position than I was… am, Dave.” It was the first time he realized he used his first name instead of what his teammates call him. It felt a little strange and intimate in some way. Kurt tried not to blush as he waited for a response. It never came.

_“I’m… I’m just going to take him home.” He shifted his weight from one foot to another, clutching the semi-conscious boy on one side of his body._

_“Why are you here Karofsky? And why would you take Kurt home?” Santana was not going to let loose._

_“I meant his house.” Dave said, avoiding the main question not so stealthily._

_Santana squinted at him, “Answer my question, doofus.”_

_His mind swirled looking for some reasonable answer, what was the question again? Shoot, he had been silent for too long, screw it._

_“I… I, like him.” He probably could get away with this, he would just say that they’re actually friends, although that’s not true at all. Why did he feel like he’d lie a lot more tonight?_

_“What was that?” She folded her arms in front of her and pushing her head forward as if to be able to listen better._

_“I like him, okay?” He repeated, sounding petulant._

_“You like him?” Santana restated with skepticism, blinking rapidly._

_“Yeah.” He breathed, sounding so defeated he practically breathed a white flag out of his nose._

_“You shove him around, check his body into lockers, throw him into dumpsters, slushie his face, and you like him?” Santana voiced out her incredulity._

_Dave listened and winced at each and every mention of it. He processed and realized that Santana had probably caught up with him. He didn’t dare to open his mouth at the end of it._

_“I don’t get it.” She said, encouraging an explanation._

_Dave just stared at her blankly._

_She rolled her eyes and rephrased in hope for clarification. “Why would you torture him if you actually like him?”_

_“I like that too.” Dave answered unhesitatingly._

_She frowned hard, her eyes were indiscernible under the thick lashes. “This is very confusing…”_

_“Look, you don’t have to get it. Just, I’m gonna get out of here and let’s never talk about this again.” Dave made to escape the scene but he was stopped by another question._

_“Why are you here in the first place, Karofsky?” She asked calmly._

_“Just… Hanging out.” He didn’t really care at this point. Santana knew._

_She gave him a side face look. “You, the biggest homophobic person I know, hanging out at a ‘gay’ bar? Alone?” She stressed some words particularly to make a point._

_“I…”_

_“And you like Kurt?” She asked again, why wouldn’t she let go?_

_“Santana…” Dave was getting frustrated._

_“What?” She asked challengingly._

_He sighed, maybe it was time to come out… “Yes, I like Kurt.” He confirmed._

_“So, you’re gay?” She asked blatantly._

_Dave eyed her intently, silently begging her to just understand. Of course, she wouldn’t have any of it._

_“I just want you to say it.”_

_“Yes, I’m gay.” Fuck it._

_“Okay.” Santana said. Dave waited for another. A threat. A deal. A confrontation. A few seconds passed, and she finally continued. “Me too.”_

_“What?” Dave couldn’t possibly have heard that right._

_“What?” She echoed, looking just as calm as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb._

_“Why are you telling me that?”_

_She shrugged nonchalantly, “Feels like that’s only fair if you know.” They looked at each other, silent gratification was strong between them. “I won’t tell anybody, and I expect you to do the same. We gays have to stick with each other, right?”_

_Dave exhaled loudly, “Oh God, Santana. Never. I won’t… Never.” He blabbered in relief._

_Kurt smacked his lips sleepily, “Go gays.” He muttered. The two sober of them look at him and snorted out a laugh. Dave looked down at the warm boy rested on his side lovingly._

_Santana smirked, “Not God, but thanks.” It was said simply but heavy with implication._

_They smiled knowingly for a second, this had probably been the longest conversation they ever had despite their shared table at the cafeteria on school days, where they barely acknowledge the other existence. With this pact, it felt like they truly became friends. Santana shifted after a moment and nodded at Kurt, “Well, aren’t you gonna take him home?”_

_“Yeah, yeah…” He rubbed the small portion of the smaller boy’s back with his palm, sending warmth and inducing a contented whimper audible only for Dave to hear._

_“Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna give that lanky bitchlet a piece of my mind.” She said, walking away and toward the women’s restroom door. At least one of them got to use the bathroom regardless of all the debacles._

_Dave only laughed wetly. About to swivel himself and the boy attached to him when Santana spoke._

_“Oh, one more thing?” She turned around to look at the two of them. “You’d probably want to do something about your bullying though, I don’t know and don’t care If that’s how you show your… affection, but I know for a fact that Kurt doesn’t feel it every time you knock him down. I don’t know what have you guys agreed on upon… All the display of violence, and I don’t get how Kurt would agree to this, but all of those did only damage to Kurt. You probably should think of someway else if you really like him.”_

Dave nodded, had nothing he could say to what Kurt had just said. He needed some time to processed and think it over.

“See you at school?” Dave said after eyeing the boy making an exit out of his car. 

“Will you be sneering my way while watching your so-called besties throwing me into the dumpster when I see you again?” Kurt asked with one raised eyebrow, sounding accusatory. 

“I don’t know, Kurt.” He answered tiredly.

Suddenly Kurt felt anger bubbled up his chest, “Ok, whatever.” He said quickly before slamming the door.

“No, wait. Kurt! No.” He got out of the car and called behind Kurt. 

_Someway else. Someway normal, perhaps. What do people do when they like someone?_

Dave successfully caught the boy by his arm, making Kurt spin on his heels. His face contorted like he was in pain, and Dave remembered had seen a particularly large mark right under his palm, he pulled his hand back and put it inside his front jeans pocket.

“I… I wanna take you out. Would you want to?” Dave blurted quickly and nervously. 

“Out?” Kurt’s face switched from annoyed to intrigued.

“Yeah.”

“Like coffee?” He asked, voice heavy with anticipation.

Dave shook his head, but immediately elaborated when he saw Kurt’s fallen face. “No, like… Dinner.”

Kurt looked positively appalled. His inside did a flip and his heart missed a beat, or two. He felt the need to ask if he was asking him on a date, but the boy cleared that out himself.

“So, would you? Go out on a date with me?” Dave looked at him hopefully, and Kurt had never seen him so nervous it was refreshing. 

“You want to go out with me and back to throwing me around at school?” Kurt didn’t think it was a good subject to bring up, but it was necessary.

“I…” He hesitated for a moment before Kurt saw the determination in his eyes. “I like you, Kurt. Really, like you. What I did was… Terrible. Not only to you but I treated you the worst… And I liked doing that… Fuck. I’m so sorry… I understand if you say no, because I’m a coward and I can’t even answer your question right away. I’m… Terrified. I can’t just go from being mean to become all heavenly, or supportive, let alone gay. But… But I could text you a warning when they planned a slushie round or dumpster check so that you’d know which route to take without encountering us. I could walk behind you in the hallway so nobody would target to trip you.” Dave said desperately. He wasn’t planning on being so miserable all of a sudden because it was absolutely not an attractive quality, but he won’t give false hope by saying he would stop instantaneously. Kurt on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to jump and circled his arms around the boy. He looked so frightened Kurt ached with it. 

Kurt just stared for a few moments, Dave was about to say something because he thought there was no way Kurt would want to go out with his bully. But thankfully, Kurt said otherwise. 

“O, Okay.” Kurt stuttered.

“Okay?” Dave asked dumbfounded.

“Yeah.” It wasn’t the best deal for Kurt, but at least it sounded like Dave willing to try. And Kurt secretly had been planning his outfit for the day.

“Kurt, you can say no. You know that right?” Dave said nervously and Kurt smiled at him.

“I know.” He paused. “I want to, Dave.”

Dave's smile was full of relief. “Good.”


End file.
